Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Epic Fail.

As Dear Dembski would say, "This is not a P-A-R-O-D-Y!!!!"

Michael 'Lilo' Behe, supposedly a 55 year old biochemist, has just thrown an epic temper tantrum on his Amazon blog. That is really Behes blog. He really posted this. I, Abbie Smith, a kid from a farm in the middle of nowhere, am on the receiving end of a Creationist move normally reserved for emergency defense only (ie Dawkins attacks):

YOURE MEAAAAAAAAAANNN!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Behe, we are having a good time making fun of your science, would you like us to start ridiculing your writing as well? Do you know what the word 'disingenuous' means?

What *I* would call disingenuous is saying anything I wrote was 'insulting' while you seem to have no difficulties dismissing the blood, sweat, and tears of thousands of scientists while you contribute nothing beneficial to society (no, I dont consider feces and CO2 'beneficial'). You have no problem stealing the work of those same scientists and misrepresenting it to laymen, pretending it supports your claims. You have no problem writing entire books on topics telling scientists they have no idea what theyre talking about, but you apparently cant even read an HIV-1 review article. You cant even read your own diagrams!

And then shall we delve into your history and your colleagues? Altering 'quotes' unapologetically? Categorically attacking science students who dare to speak out against Creationism? Referring to evilutionists as Nazis and mass murderers? Defaulting to sexism while addressing a critique? All this is no problem. This is all 'civil discourse.'

But calling bullshit on your bullshit claims? Refusing to play your Creationist games?
UNACCEPTABLE! SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! YOURE SO MEANNNNNNNNNN!!!!
You want to be able to act like an asshole and you expect everyone to put on plastic smiles and pretend youre a respectable scientist and have 'civil discourse'. We're supposed to treat you like youre an actual HIV-1 researcher, even though you arent. We're supposed to treat you like an actual biochemist, even though you arent.

And Ian is 'disingenuous'.

Mr. Behe, if you are such a delicate flower that you break under the breeze blown by some woman graduate student, perhaps it is best you stay locked up safe in the confines of your Ivory Tower. I must warn you its only going to get harder for you from here on out-- Im afraid neither I nor any of my classmates are under orders from our mentors and professors to be 'civil' to Creationists, HIV Deniers, ALF/PETA, green anarchists, or any form of anti-science hack. In fact, my classmates have all found your original claims and subsequent responses hysterical. Youre now an official class joke.
Professor: "How would you figure out which signal transduction pathways your receptor is involved in?"
Female student: "You could cross-link, and see which proteins are associated with your receptor."
Professor: "Good! Thats one way..."
Male student: "Good answer. FOR A WOMAN!"
Class: *laughs*
Professor: *confused*
Its also now a class game to figure out what the hell "soak your head" means. We're completely lost. Google doesnt even know what that means. But we have found an awesome arcane insult generator! Thou pribbling boil-brained whey-face!



I also want to emphasize one more thing, for the laymen. Note how Behe is completely unwilling to take responsibility for his own actions. He didnt respond to my essay with anything resembling science... and its *my* fault. *I* was 'mean', and that prevented Michael Behe from responding to my essay like a biochemist. If *I* was 'nice', well, then he could have responded. Really, the lack of science in any of Behes posts is *my* fault. Uh huh.

But remember, folks, Ian is disingenuous.

14 comments:

Art said...

So it comes down to this: Behe is so obsessive-compulsive that he cannot stop destroying himself by attacking a "mere" grad student.

Of course, his latest childish tirade simply avoids one little matter that he wants to avoid at all cost: "HIV-1 M Vpu is a viroporin."

He's fixated on you, Abbie. And this is after you publicly laid out a great strategy for students to engage in an "asymmetrical" campaign in the Culture Wars against the Creationists. It's there in black and white on your bog, and he still fell for it? Hilarious!

It's like he's a moth, you're the flame. (And not in the romantic, poetic sense.) Don't let your fire go out, Abbie.

There's still too many Creationist moths around. As long as they are this self-destructive, let 'em burn themselves.

-- HalfMooner

Bob O'Hara said...

Its also now a class game to figure out what the hell "soak your head" means. We're completely lost.
It sounds like half of something Ford Prefect would say, doesn't it? I remember Marvin did wash his head at Arthur Dent et al. but that wasn't it.

Bob

Blake Stacey said...

I recall "Go soak your head" in a Calvin and Hobbes strip (23 September 1990). Calvin threatens Susie with a mauling by Hobbes, but she simply gives Hobbes a hug.

"So what happened to the mandibles of death, you sissy furball?" Calvin demands to know.

"I was beguiled by her feminine charms. Yow," replies Hobbes, adding, "Go soak your head."

The irony here is that Abbie is clearly the one with feminine charms, so she should be the one beguiling us into telling Behe to go soak his head.

I, Abbie Smith, a kid from a farm in the middle of nowhere, am on the receiving end of a Creationist move normally reserved for emergency defense only (ie Dawkins attacks)

I'm jealous. All I get are goofy e-mails.

firemancarl said...

#1, As I have stated before, herr docktor Behe is an example unto himself. Yea and verily shall the idiot masses of ID supporters sally forth and lay upon the land an interesting defense in the name of non science. And they shall call it. "Girls are like so totally gross! What does SHE know??? Like omi gawd, totally!"

#2 I love "watching" you kick his ass!

#3 I just wanna know if the cavalry will come when the ID and YEC makes it's nasty headway into Floor-ee-duh?

Even if I think CU rulz?

Mike O'Risal said...

Perhaps Behe is just trying out his new theory of irreducible blubbering.

I note, too, that these IDolators love to bandy about what terrible people evolutionary biologists are, how we're all a bunch of little Hitlers and Stalins, but when you use even a fraction of that tone with them they start whinging about civility.

Perhaps Behe needs to buy a couple of new vowels for his last name. "Dr. Boohoo" has a nice ring to it...

The Factician said...

On a side note... your first "Squee" link is dead. Or maybe Blogger hates me...

Squee!

Torbjörn Larsson said...

Mean Girls, Mean Girls whatcha want
Whatcha' gonna do when professa' Behe
come for you tell me whatcha' gonna do.

Mean Girls, Mean Girls
Whatcha' gonna do, whatcha' gonna do
when creos come for you
Mean Girls, Mean Girls
Whatcha' gonna do, whatcha' gonna do
when creos come for you

When you were eight
And you had mad traits
You go to school and you learn the evil solution
So why are you acting like a bloody scientist
If you get facts you must forget
Mean Girls, Mean Girls
Whatcha' gonna do, whatcha' gonna do
When creos come for you

You chuck it on the One
You chuck it on the One
You chuck it on godbother
You chuck it on you preacher
You chuck it on you YEC
You chuck it on you OEC
You chuck it on that blog and you chuck it on Behe

Mean Girls, Mean Girls ...
Whatcha' gonna do, whatcha' gonna do
When creos come for you

Nobody naw give you no break
Preacher naw give you no break
Fundies naw give you no break
Not even you creos naw give you no break

Mean Girls, Mean Girls ...
Whatcha' gonna do, whatcha' gonna do
When creos come for you

Why did you have to act so mean don't you know
You're a human being born of a human so
How come there are still monkeys, our reflections go
I wish sometimes you want to let go
I wish sometimes you want to let go

Mean Girls, Mean Girls ...
Whatcha' gonna do, whatcha' gonna do
When creos come for you

Freelancer said...

I hate to be the one to make a reference to a Ben Stein movie, but didn't Rooney say that to his secretary in Ferris Bueller's Day Off?

Bayesian Bouffant, FCD said...

"Civil Discourse"? Is that the same Michael J. Behe who has referred to Judge Jones as "the former head of the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board"?

Jake said...

Um, not to piss on an otherwise excellent parade, but what on earth have you got against apostrophes?

Peter McGrath said...

Excellent pic and post. You don't need to invent Shakepearian insults,k though, he tyhere are plenty right from the Bard's quill.

In the case of your half-assed 'tormentor', I would suggest 'Would that thou weret clean enough to spit on.'

Or 'Out, dungheap', if you've feeling really brusque.

Keep it up.

Tim said...

Abbie,
Why are you so mean?
Is it just something in you? Or are you striving for something? I don't get it. What would drive you to want to be so ruthless with this?
I've read your exchanges back and forth with Dr. Behe and your attitude is disgusting. Did you learn that from your mom and/or dad?
I'm like everyone else, I think (hoping that excludes you), I come to this with some beliefs about what the world is really like but I try to stay open-minded. Then I come across some pretty vulgar folks.... and it serves as a jolt to the system. But, then I come across someone like you.
I don't get what drives you. I don't know why I want to. Maybe to just make some sense of you.... so that it takes away some of the force when I see someone acting as disgusting as you. I'm not saying that for added effect.... because I think that 'disgusting' well undercuts how you actually are.

Mike O'Risal said...

Awwww, poor Timmy gets all teary-eyed when his heroes get shredded.

Bad news, Tim. Behe is a lying old toadhumper. You might want to carefully wash your lips after kissing the old boy's ass.

Penguindreams said...

Only recently discovered ERV and am reading old articles as well as current ones.

'go soak your head' is a comment I know mostly from early to mid 1900s sources. I heard it seldom 'in the wild' by my time (I'm only a generation older than you Abbie) in the midwest. (But it did happen.)

The meaning is pretty much in line with 'talk to the hand', or 'la la la la I can't hear you'.