Friday, May 04, 2007

I learned how to cure cancer today!

Man! Why do I even bother going to work?? Im learning all this amazing health information staying home sick and watching daytime TV!

Now, correct me if Im wrong, but isnt it against the law to claim you can cure cancer? Nobody told Montels guest today, Dr. Timothy Brantley!

"I've been asked the following question countless times during my years of practice, What's really killing us? The simple answer is CANCER, HEART DISEASE, DIABETES AND OBESITY. But that's not the question. The real question to me was what CAUSES these diseases and could I STOP them from killing my patients. I spent over two decades in clinical practice working with thousands of patients to discover the answers to these exact questions. That's why I was compelled to write my book, "The Cure" ...so that each and every one of you could learn the secrets to take control of your body and heal yourselves naturally. REMEMBER: WE ARE THE CAUSE AND WE ARE THE CURE!"
YAY! WOW! Finally someone has cured CANCER, HEART DISEASE, DIABETES AND OBESITY!! Cause theres only one kind of CANCER, one cause of HEART DISEASE, one kind of DIABETES, and one cause of OBESITY! Ugh sorry, Ill stop the caps.

So who is this hot young wunderkind who has solved all these problems that thousands have been working on for years?
Dr. Timothy Brantley has been an independent researcher for more than twenty years, utilizing naturopathic principles. In his well-established practice in Santa Monica, California, he has been verifying his theories while working with thousands of patients over two decades. He received his Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Miami, two separate degrees in naturopathy from the Clayton School of Natural Healing and the International College of Naturopathy, as well as his Ph.D. from Pacific Western University. Dr. Brantley is a board certified member of the American Naturopathic Medical Association.
hehehe 'Independent researcher.' heheheh! 'Bachelor of Science degree' hehehehe! In what? 'Two seperate degrees in naturopathy' That and a 2-year cell phone contract will get you a phone call. And a PhD from Pacific Western. A non-accredited online university. Well if anyone is qualified to cure cancer, its him! YAY!

On Montel he kept talking about how he didnt 'believe' in genetics or germ theory. He didnt just mis-speak under the pressures of television cameras. From his book description:
According to Dr. Timothy Brantley, most health problems are not caused by genetics or germs but by the standard American diet. Drawing on Brantley's groundbreaking research and his years of working with nutritional healing, The Cure contains a revolutionary step-by-step program that can flush toxins out of the body, restore balance, promote natural healing, and increase vitality.
Everyone in the audience got a copy of his book. And just to cover his ass, like every other snake-oil salesman on the planet, Timmy made sure to emphasize that this was about the patient healing themselves. If they stopped their thyroid cancer surgery like his tag-along-personal-testimony-friend, but end up dying of a treatable cancer-- its their own damn fault. NOT his method. **WINK!!!**

Im watching movies until I get better.

6 comments:

Dr. Duke said...

And you wonder why their are claims made about how watching too much television affects your IQ??

You may be fortunate enough to have been "vaccinated" against pseudoscience by going to 12+ years of schools with adequate science classes. But most of the world is not so fully vaccinated.

Dr. Duke said...

Eating healthy food IS of course very important. It does prevent some types of diabetes, and also has other health benefits, NO DOUBT about it. However, the link between most cancers and diet is not so clear. Colon cancer and BBQed beef fat maybe, and a few others, but not most types of cancer.

If anyone can frighten people into eating a healthy diet, maybe it is a good thing in the long run. But I somehow doubt that bogus scare tactics are the best motivation for most people.

I really, really feel sorry for the family who lost a 2 year old boy who drank a spinach smoothy
http://www.nbalawfirm.com/lawyer-attorney-1162244.html
I am sure this was a very health conscious family. Who else would try to get a 2 year old to drink spinach? It is just not right when the best intentions in the world bite you in the back like that.

Tyler DiPietro said...

Oh come on ERV, we all know you're just picking on a Galilean heretic because he's a threat to you and BIG PHARMA (cue frightening and/or ominous music). But despite his martyrdom upon the cross of your criticism HE WILL PREVAIL!

STALINIST!

The Factician said...

Sounds like the medical version of "The Secret".

Foxy said...

I think we all know that good nutrition is key to raising a healthy cancer.

Jonathan said...

http://www.scientificblogging.com/fish_feet/t_rex_ate_coconuts

Thought you might enjoy this :~)