Thursday, February 08, 2007

Why CNN should want to invite me to speak on their network about atheism

I have a real beef with stereotypes of atheists perpetuated by news programs, but right now I have a more important issue to deal with. Ladies and gentlemen, Anna Nichole Smith... has died. Yes, the scheduled Paula Zhan show on atheism (to make up for her bull shit show last week? who knows) was postponed to bring viewers ONE HOUR of Anna Nichole coverage. Why?

Look who they had scheduled (and had for the previous atheism show):
Kevin Smith:

Karen Hunter:

Niger Innis:

Roland Martin:

Debbie Schelslewhatever:

Christopher Hitchens:

Richard Dawkins:

*YAAAAWN!* All those people, not one nice rack. Little Debbie comes close, but every woman on the planet can tell thats a padded bra shes wearing.

Know who they should have invited? Me:

Clearly, by CNNs stringent journalistic principles, I am the most newsworthy atheist on the planet. I patiently await my invite.


Jonathan said...

You are so ridiculously witty. You're way too good for med school. I'm serious - things are a lot more dry on this side of the fence. Hope you're doing great.

ERV said...

No, Im not really that witty-- You thinking I am is one of the hypnotic side-effects of my cleavage :P


G said...

Oh yeah I found the secret easter egg!

The problem with Debbie S's look is not really her chest, but the overall Dallas / soap opera-esque feel.

Cynic said...

Those wonderful shapes couldn't have arisen through random chance, they are irrefutable beautiful proof of intelligent design! You are a walking testament to the creation by our boob-loving Lord.

H.H. said...

I don't know. I think The Hitch has you in sheer cup size, although yours are more shapely.

(And yeah, I know this is a very old thread. But better late than never.)