Monday, February 26, 2007

Oh! I have father issues!

Well shoot! I thought I was a Daddy's girl, but thanks to the divine revelation received by a Dr. Michael Anderson, I now know that the only reason Im an atheist is that I have "father issues"!

(In order to watch this, you have to open the file in Quicktime or Windows Media Player or something. You arent missing anything if you dont want to watch it. Honestly, I couldnt take it any more after this 'father' shit)

You know how I was complaining about how Im at a major research institution, but there arent any science/educational programs after work? Well somebody at the Uni reads my blog (lol) because they decided to host a Faculty/Staff speaker after work last Thursday. Minor problem, the topic: 'God and Science'


Look, my evo bio professors were both theistic evolutionists. One was my undergrad research adviser, I loved them so much. I would never make the argument that I have a 'scientific' argument against them-- there is a possibility that their god is guiding evolution. I have no idea. But the fact of the matter is, theyre using one set of episteomological rules 6 days a week, and another set of rules on Sunday. Thats just silly. But like I said, I loved and respected these professors for their science, and I could/can care very little of what they do with their free time. Considering I always had my American Atheist Atom and an Evolve Fish on my backpack, my views on this topic certainly werent a secret to them either-- however they never made jabs at my relationship with my parents. Thats just about the stupidest thing a theist could do with me.

After wrinkling his nose at the idea of monotheists considering their god like a father figure (is he really that shocked? patriarchal societies, man in the sky dealing out rules and punishments. FATHER, son, holy spirit? weird), he declares that atheists are atheists because they dont have good father figures:

[lists someone who 'psychoanalyzed', but never met, certain famous atheists]
"It was unanimous! Each one of these people had a serious problem with their father, if they had one at all!"
"Your lack of religion is a projection of your father image."

So he thinks a neat question to ask is, "What kind of father was in the biographical sketch of each person (atheists) life?"

Well, Dr. Snot, let me tell you about my relationship with my father, since youre so concerned about it.

My earliest memory, I think, of my father was him reading me bedtime stories. He would read childrens stories, he would read 'COSMOS', he would just make things up. I could read before most kids my age could say the alphabet, thanks to my father (and certainly my mother and older brother as well).

I remember having the chicken-pox. I got it at play-school when I was 4 (I was 'too young' for play school, but they made an exception for me, and I got chicken-pox from the bastard kids). And while I just wanted to scream and cry from the pain and itches, Dad would put a cold washcloth on a particularly horrible welt I had on my forehead (and Ive got the scar to remind me of it). All the nights I had the flu, or was just throwing up like kids often do, Dad would sleep on the sofa in my room so I wouldnt be alone.

I remember watching 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars' and all the great sci-fi movies with my Dad. He had a HUGE hand in cultivating my love of the unknown-- to boldly go where no one has gone before.

I remember sitting at the kitchen table, learning all sorts of math tricks. Easier ways to do this-- Faster ways to do that-- Fractions grades before I would officially learn them in school. Technically this made me bored to tears in my math courses throughout school, but the quality time we spent together I think is the important issue here.

And speaking of quality time, you know what, Dr. Snot? Instead of wasting our time in church for hours every Sunday, my Dad and I would... **GASP!!**... SPEND TIME TOGETHER! Yeah, my Dad, though technically Catholic, is for all intents and purposes religiously apathetic, and doesnt give a shit I dont believe in a god of any kind. Im one of the very, very lucky children who had parents that didnt force theism down my throat.

What a terrible father, eh?

Waste all of your life on sky pixies, for all I care Dr. Snot-- but consider yourself very lucky that I decided to go home and play with Arnie Thursday. My dad taught me so many things, however it was my mother who taught me how to be a beautiful bitch to people who fuck with family.


Gerald said...

I didn't watch the video but I've heard this before. From what I remember he takes a bunch of famous atheists who had father issues then concludes that having those issues leads to atheism. I could do the same thing with theists.

ERV said...

LOL Dont watch it! You watched the ID videos, thats torture enough!

What I thought was weird was his disdain for the idea that God=Father-figure to a LOT of monotheists. I mean, its not that novel of an observation. And his immediate reaction was to lash out at atheists relationships with their parents... Just weird. I really wonder if he latched on to this because he has 'father-issues'... I suppose I could e-mail him.